Another contribution from Jarrett:

So with the beginning of a new baseball season, there is one thing that
I look forward to more than my month long hope that the Rangers will win
the Series (Which is immediately crushed with a 4 and 15 record in
April) and that is my feud with Jason the Ball Boy.

Since moving back to the metroplex, this has been a yearly occurrence
which is now entering its 3rd season.  You may ask yourself how did this
happen?  Or how serious is this? Or maybe even why am I reading a blog?
Well I’ll answer all those questions for you because I know that all of
you readers of blogs want to know.

In the summer of 2007 around the time of my powerful attorney friend’s
birthday and mine, we happened to attend a Ranger game in his newly
acquired season tickets that just happen to be right behind the Rangers
dugout.  We were enjoying a lovely evening of baseball for our
birthdays, Padilla had given up 6 runs in the fifth, Kinsler had 12
errors in the game and Joshie Hamilton was still Edison Volquez when I
decided that we deserved some baseballs for our birthday.  We preferred
foul balls, but any balls would do especially since all the little kids
would get all the balls which is a different story all its own.  So
after politely standing and holding our hands out while yelling for foul
balls, I became frustrated and then, a thought occurred to me.  Who
better to ask for balls than the ball boys!

Having easy access to their names I proceeded to yell to Jason the BB
and Michael the BB that I like, that we would like a baseball or two for
our birthdays.  My pleas were ignored until a foul ball was hit in our
general area and Michael retrieved it.   This time my whining fell on
someone with a heart and he gave my lawyer friend the ball since we
happened to be there on his actual b-day, but Jason continued to ignore
us.

As we attended games throughout the year, Jason became the target of my
requests for balls.  As he constantly denied me my requests, his name
was yelled louder and there was the occasional comment about his
terrible goatee or how he’s a terrible ball handler.  This continued
throughout last year and has my impatience with Jason BB grew so did my
voice and the laughs my fellow Ranger/Jason Haters along with the
occasional preteen joining in with me.  Jason finally started to fire
back but I could never understand him with all the balls close to his
mouth.

So now I enter the 3rd season in my feud with Jason and can only expect
things to escalate unless he realizes the error of his ways.  So the
next time you’re at a Rangers game and you hear someone yell “Jason”,
know what that person is trying to accomplish and feel free to join for
it is your balls on the line too.