In Biblical times, the voice of Satan was known as Beelzebub, in current baseballical times his name is Jon Heyman. This is an open letter to Jon Heyman:

Dear Jon,

Stop lying. We get it, you work for Boras. I think everyone understands what you are doing at this point, but why? Your allegiance to the baseball Anti-Christ is totally discrediting you and ruining any semblance of journalistic integrity you might have previously had. I know working at Sports Illustrated must be a terrible job for an elite journalist such as yourself, especially with the great Rick Reilly defecting to the hated ESPN, but please quit working there for our sake. It must be tough to go into work every morning at one of those crappy little magazines with a minuscule readership like SI. It also has to be incredibly taxing for such an  honest and highly regarded writer such as yourself to muster the strength to write for a magazine that is so apparently beneath your talents, however there are a couple of us out there that rely on publications such as these for new about our teams, players and sports in general. God forbid you stop playing the hand that Boras deals you for one effing day and report something remotely newsworthy. How the higher ups at Sports Illustrated tolerate the lack of credible information as well as the money you are receiving under the table from Boras is beyond me.

Another thing, the man you have sided with has effectively ruined baseball, and you are doing everything you possibly can to assist him. By feeding all of us the swill he slops down for you everyday is making us sick. You are the “boy who cried wolf” of the writing world, and frankly I think all of us baseball fans have had enough. How are those Manny Ramirez deals coming along anyways, you hack?

I don’t care that you include the Rangers in half of the conversations you have with your computer, because I don’t believe a word you say in the first place, but the casual fan doesn’t know this. How do you think this represents the Rangers organization when people wake up and see you quoted in the Dallas Morning News and Fort Worth Star Telegram harping that the Rangers are interested in the services of the great Andruw Jones? Andruw Jones? Are you kidding me? Why on Earth would the Rangers be interested in a fat, washed up, can’t hit out of a bag, center fielder that the Dodgers left over $22 million on the table with? Your guess is as good as mine. God forbid they have a guy named Josh Hamilton patrolling the middle of the outfield. Or if they move Hamilton to right guys named Marlon Byrd or David Murphy to take his spot. That not enough? Don’t tell me that Julio Borbon or Greg Golson (or hell, Engel Beltre) couldn’t hop up to the majors RIGHT NOW and hit a dismal .158/.256/.249 of 238 plate appearances. Heyman, you are the worst.

Now, this is all good and fun coming from a little ol’ blogger on the Wide Wide World of MLBlogs.com, but it means a little more when someone like Rich Lederer over at The Baseball Analysts calls you out and backs it up with every shoddy “breaking news story” you have written during the Manny Ramirez debacle. Hey, Jon, where is Manny signing today?

Take your media credential, your latest Boras endorsed paycheck, and what little bit of journalistic integrity you have left and shove them all up your lying ***.

Please stop ruining this for all of us,

A Fan of Baseball